Relina's Chicken soup for the Fan
by Hikaru6
Summary: The boys get a chance to taste some of Relina's cooking. What else is there to say?


Disclaimer: I don' own Gundam Wing, PERIOD!  
  
Hot off Hikaru's printing press: Gundam Wing: Relina's Chicken Soup for the Fan  
  
It was a peaceful day at the house of Heero Yuy and Relina Darlin. Heero awoke, got out of bed and walked down the main hallway lead by an onion aroma and wondering how he ended up living with Relina. Wearing his Wing Gundam boxers and a T-shirt that said, "I'm a Bad Boy," Heero entered the kitchen and saw a bad, horrible thing. Relina was cooking. Relina turned to kiss Heero on the cheek like every other morning, but saw something else. "Ahhhh, Heero! You look awful!" Relina screamed dropping her wooden spoon. "What? I didn't drink that many Budd Wisers did I? Well it's not my fault anyway," Heero answered. "Huh? What are you talking about?" Relina asked puzzled while picking up her spoon. "Oh n.nothing, he, he!" answered Heero as he smiled and shook his head. "Well anyway, your friends are coming over for brunch. So, GET DRESSED!" dictated Relina. So, fearing her wrath more than her cooking, Heero did as told without question. Heero took his morning shower, threw some gel into his hair, and put on his normal attire: green tank top and spandex shorts. Soon the doorbell rang and Heero made a mad dash to get it. But just as he got to the door, it slammed open on him. "HA, HA, HA! I got you good Quatre! You're so easy! HA, HA, HA!" Duo laughed as he walked in. "Duo, I c.can't believe that you pantzed me in the parking lot that we all met at today. In front of all those people," Quatre said embarrassed as he entered behind Duo. "I hate being surrounded by immature weaklings with no sense of integrity. It makes my anger some how surpass MY sense of integrity," Wufie grumbled as he walked in. "..," was all Trowa had to say. "OW. I think my nose is bleeding," Heero said angrily as he came out from behind the opened door and reaching for his gun. "Oh man you should have seen it Heero O'l pal, HA, HA," Duo said still laughing and walking up to Heero. "Man there was Quatre standing there stunned with his pants down to his ankles with his spandex whitey- tighties show'n! AH, HAHAHAH! Man I was about to die! I mean they were, HA HA, as tight, HA HA HA, as your shorts! HAHAHAHAHA! He was sooooo red! HAHAHA! Man I think I'm going to die laughing!" "No not laughing, but you are going to die," Heero said holding his gun up to Duo's head while lifting a tissue to his own nose. "Okay, who's ready?" Relina called from the dinning room. "I'm finished setting the table!" "LET'S CHOW!" Duo yelled getting out of his laughing mood. "Drat! Dang you Relina and your table!" Heero thought as he put away his gun. All the boys gathered at the table and sat down silently accept for Quatre. FOOOOOTHHHHH! "AH, HA, HA, HA, HA,HA!" Duo screamed with laughter. "E.ex.excuse m.me," Quatre said turning bright red. "L.look how red he is AH, HA, HA, HA! He's redder than when he ate his hamburger I put 'Super Duper don't eat' hot sauce on it! AH, HA, HA,HA!" Duo laughed. "You have the lowest sense of integrity of all you evil, evil, Evil thing!" Wufie chanted to Duo. "EVIL!!!" "...," Trowa said. "Here you boys are. Here are some of my home made rolls! Enjoy!" Relina said in a ditsy voice. "Um rolls!" Duo yelled. CRACK!!! "OW! What the h*** are these rolls made of?" Duo wined rubbing his jaw. "Relina's Bed ROCK rolls," Heero responded. "Humm," Duo thought. "Hey Quatre, THINK FAST!" Duo hurled the roll in the air. "Wha. (BAM!) OHHH AHAHAH OW!" Quatre wined in pain as the hard roll socked him in the jaw. "Hey look! Communist Chinese throwing rolls! HA, HA!" Duo laughed. "I resent that you low sense of integrity leveled ton-girl," Wufie protested in anger. "Hey Heero, THINK." Duo began as he cocked his arm to throw another roll. "No!" Heero said shooting the roll from Duo's hand. "Leave the 'easy-to- pick-on' wuss and the rock rolls alone." "Fine!" Duo said crossing his arms. All the boys sat silent for much time just waiting for their meal. "Man, how long does it take that woman to make something!" Duo demanded. All the boys soon heard rumbling, felt a small shaking, and noticed black smoke start to come from the kitchen. "Ah! Hit the deck!" Duo yelled as he grabbed the roll basket and put it over his head. "Oh no! I'm too young to die," Quatre wined as he held an ice pack to his jaw and jumped under the table. "Evil lurks in there. HI-YAAAAA!" Wufie called as he ran in to the black smoke with his napkin tied to his head and holding his knife in hand. But soon enough, Wufie was sent flying backward into the wall of the dinning room. Trowa opened a window and defied gravity with a triple axial while he jumped out the window. And Heero just picked up an umbrella. BOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!! "Dude, what is that woman cooking with, dynamite?" Duo said after looking out from under the roll bowl atop his head. Heero had no answer, he just closed the umbrella and put it down. Minutes later, after Heero and Duo pried Wufie off the wall, they sat down. Relina came into the dinning room covered in black and her hair sticking straight up.  
  
"Sorry for the delay. Here's my special chicken noodle soup. Enjoy!" Relina said laying out all the bowls. "Hey, where's Trowa?" Duo asked. "I don't know," Heero responded. "He jumped out the window, that's all I know." Right as everyone was about to eat, they felt a massive shaking. "Ah what now! EARTH QUAKE!" Duo yelled reaching for the roll bowl again. "No not an earthquake. It's just the weakling Quatre still under the table," Wufie said. "Is.is it s.s.safe to come out.yet?" Quatre asked horrified. "Make sure no radiation or anything is st.still up there." "Aw shut up you wuss and get up here!" Duo said kicking Quatre. Quatre finally came up some-what depressed that his only friend (Trowa) had deserted him with a prankster, some communist that measured your level of integrity, and a trigger happy gunman. Duo then tied his napkin around his neck and picked up his spoon. He then grabbed the bowl full of soup that Relina had given them earlier. "Ewwwwwwwwwww! This junk smells like CRAP!" Duo yelled. (Sniff, sniff) "Sick! This 'stuff' will ruin my true, pure sense of integrity. And I refuse to eat with out chopsticks," Wufie protested. Quatre passed out at the very sight of the soup. Heero looked down at the soup. He then looked at Duo who was using a straw to blow bubbles in the soup and shooting spit balls at Wufie and the passed out Quatre. Next Heero looked at Wufie who was carving chopsticks out of Relina's $15,000 chair. Then at the passed out Quatre with his face in the soup practically drowning. Heero then reached for his spoon at his side. This caught Duo and Wufie's attention and some how awoke Quatre. The brave soul dipped his spoon into the soup and began to lift it toward his mouth. Wufie gave a gasp, Quatre gave a choke and Duo, well, he gave a sigh. "He's not going to do it," Duo said smiling. But Heero continued to lift the spoon and Duo's smile disappeared. "Mission Accepted," Heero said bring the spoon to his mouth and sipping it. Heero's eyes soon widened and almost turned white. He then fell back onto his back and hitting the soup bowl in the process. When Heero and the bowl landed, a pool of (no not blood) but soup grew around his head and neck area. "Ah! My heart it aches so much! How, how could Heero do such a thing?" Quatre said in false pain as he felt what Heero did. "He sacrificed himself for us. He has the highest sense of integrity, aside from me," Wufie stated. "Because of Relina and her cooking. D***!" Duo said. Soon a gundam hand broke through the dinning room wall. "Hurry everyone! Our fight here has ended," Trowa said from his gundam. "Trowa, Trowa is that you?" Quatre said starting to smile. Then the Heavy Arms ran off into the sun set. It was a peaceful day in the circus trailer. Heero awoke covered in bandages. He then noticed Trowa sitting in front of a TV in that same room. "So you're awake? You've been out for a week now," Trowa said standing up. "I'm surprised you survived. You sacrificed yourself to save your comrades. True honor. I know I'd never do the same if I were in your shoes." "Well let me tell you something," Heero said in a low voice. Trowa looked up. "It tastes like h***!"  
  
END. 


End file.
